Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
