So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
