Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
