Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
