I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
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