so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
