let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
