Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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