sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
