look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
