i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
