she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
