i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
