That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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