I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
