that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
