STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
