woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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