Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
