if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
