i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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