she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
