last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
