i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
