dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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