i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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