I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
