actually, I'm a sock model
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
