besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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