How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize