So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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