Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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