Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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