were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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