Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
