I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
