im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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