so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
