I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
