A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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