Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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