So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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