But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's shark week go big or go home
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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