Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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