Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
