You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
