Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
