Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just pee around me
Randomize
