I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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