do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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