He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
