Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
