New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
