Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
