If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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