She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
