I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Randomize
