If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
