I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
