i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
