it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I will be naked everywhere
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
