just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
