Do you still have your period?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
