These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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