How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
